how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
pray to the hookup gods
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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