Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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