she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
