Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
