I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
even my farts smell like vagina
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
