from now on my penis is your penis
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
