You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just forgot I was standing up.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
