also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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