Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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