okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
