she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
