my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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