i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
