ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
