do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
