They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
