I love black thongs
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
