Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize