I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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