I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
