Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
