okay pat passed out under dana's car
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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