Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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