Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
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