just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
