hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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