Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
