Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize