I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
