Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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