I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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