Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
