I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
