i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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