I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
