I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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