You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
