So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
