Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
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i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
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It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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