Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  so... i had sex tonight

  (906): View more from Michigan

  with a midget

  (906): View more from Michigan

  nicccce tits for a little person

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  (906): so... i had sex tonight (906): with a midget (906): nicccce tits for a little person http://tfl.nu/2uyc
  Replies (1) Good night (1268) Bad night (571)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with

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  (919): great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with http://tfl.nu/d2kg
  Replies (3) Good night (485) Bad night (2009) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.

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  (209): I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own. http://tfl.nu/zoa7
  Replies (72) Good night (735) Bad night (3204) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...

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  (716): i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward... http://tfl.nu/0sye
  Replies (14) Good night (473) Bad night (4444) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.

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  (919): Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick. http://tfl.nu/djhd
  Replies (23) Good night (7170) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey

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  (401): 1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey http://tfl.nu/ks1h
  Replies (3) Good night (3791) Bad night (636)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why did I wake up holding food tongs?

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  (570): Why did I wake up holding food tongs? http://tfl.nu/i1yj
  Replies (6) Good night (1663) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.

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  (902): Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/bcf5
  Replies (4) Good night (791) Bad night (1410) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister

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  (303): I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister http://tfl.nu/4y4g
  Replies (5) Good night (1995) Bad night (528)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.

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  (512): You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you. http://tfl.nu/zer9
  Replies (16) Good night (3052) Bad night (551)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...

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  (573): I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were... http://tfl.nu/299s
  Replies (8) Good night (3068) Bad night (557)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob

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  (775): Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob http://tfl.nu/1w2d
  Replies (6) Good night (507) Bad night (1148)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.

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  (515): You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony. http://tfl.nu/x4rf
  Replies (3) Good night (919) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry

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  (774): And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry http://tfl.nu/4n0l
  Replies (2) Good night (367) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.

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  (410): He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever." (410): I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much. http://tfl.nu/3c5w
  Replies (4) Good night (1325) Bad night (106)

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