when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.