Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
