Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.

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(203): Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin? (1-203): I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight. http://tfl.nu/pi9j

Replies (19) Good night (1689) Bad night (6414)
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(614): View more from Ohio

every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.

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(614): every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with. http://tfl.nu/j96s

Replies (11) Good night (1402) Bad night (3124)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.

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(484): I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night. http://tfl.nu/i8lc

Replies (4) Good night (1057) Bad night (4080)
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(757): View more from Virginia

It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"

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(757): It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah" http://tfl.nu/ebyl

Replies (14) Good night (5473) Bad night (959)
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(815): View more from Illinois

i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.

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(815): i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past. http://tfl.nu/fh9a

Replies (5) Good night (2027) Bad night (1102)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.

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(215): I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse. http://tfl.nu/a9fq

Replies (6) Good night (1667) Bad night (899)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.

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(704): Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks. http://tfl.nu/2r5q

Replies (6) Good night (1910) Bad night (808)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.

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(+44): You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4. http://tfl.nu/tyhh

Replies (2) Good night (2036) Bad night (745)
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(518): View more from New York

We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America

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(518): We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America http://tfl.nu/rqk9

Replies (1) Good night (1365) Bad night (579)
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(616): View more from Michigan

My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break

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(616): My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break http://tfl.nu/h428

Replies (3) Good night (2007) Bad night (519)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?

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(865): You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams? http://tfl.nu/qz0j

Replies (8) Good night (1315) Bad night (427)
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(408): View more from California

I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.

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(408): I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks. http://tfl.nu/3vr5

Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (340)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

You really know how to show Monday who's boss.

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(317): Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together. (1-317): You really know how to show Monday who's boss. http://tfl.nu/h3k4

Replies (0) Good night (686) Bad night (223)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.

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(856): We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'. http://tfl.nu/lxqe

Replies (0) Good night (563) Bad night (287)
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(972): View more from Texas

You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted

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(972): You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted http://tfl.nu/dlxv

Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (153)

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