Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.

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(818): View more from California

I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record

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(315): View more from New York

he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

and their significant others

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS

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