the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Are these your boobs on my camera?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize