So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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