I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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