Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
