Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
