I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
