woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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