508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
