it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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