I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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