I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
