His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i dont even know how to be here
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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