I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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