Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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