Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
