i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize