He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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