I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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