I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
