: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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