One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
