Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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