My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
