He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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