Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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