party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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