I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
