I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
