plz talk dirty to me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
