Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
