i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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