If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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